Oct. 24th
It’s been a minute since I’ve written. I tend to write when I’m in “the feels”. I write to clear my head and hope that maybe it resonates with others. October 24, 2025 would have been our 26th wedding anniversary. I’m not overcome by sadness because it would have been our anniversary. It has been…
Scared
One of my best friend’s texted me this picture last night. When I opened it up, my heart sank and all I could think was “OMG! Where is this? Why are young men saluting “Heil Hitler”? What is going on in our world today?” Is that what you saw when you look at this picture?…
Broken
“I met the most broken version of me, but also the strongest.” I saw this quote on Facebook and it really got me thinking. Not many people truly meet the most broken version of themselves. You might have days of sadness but being truly broken is hard to even explain. Most of us go about…
Kasha
Tonight, I made Kasha and Bows for dinner. Kind of an odd way to start a post but you will understand why in a moment. Right now, I am fighting a cold. I wanted matzo ball soup but I didn’t really have the desire to leave the house and I’m too cheap to Grubhub or…
Lessons
I have learned a lot over the past few years. In fact, I feel as if my adulting quadrupled when Steve passed away. Sounds silly since I’ve been an adult for…. well… a lot of years. But losing someone very close to you, challenges everything you know. Your belief system. Your confidence. Your ability to…
Just a car
“It’s just a car” I’ve been repeating that to myself over and over again in an effort to calm my racing heart. I try to calm my inner voice with new hobbies like crocheting or zentangling.. And it helps, until…. it doesn’t. Because while I can occupy my mind so that I feel a little…
Pockets
There is something that has become abundantly clear to me throughout my journey. People don’t get over grief. They don’t just overcome grief. They actually move forward with grief. It’s like we somehow carry this sadness in our pockets wherever we go. Sometimes it just sits quietly and we forget it’s even there. Other times,…
Growth
A week ago, I had to participate in an interview process for long term life insurance coverage. Too much adulting these days! Anyhow, it was a long call full of boring questions. But there was one question that really resonated with me. “What is your relationship status?” She gave me the usual options: married, single,…
Thank You
Two years ago today, I got a phone call from the hospital letting me know that Steve’s kidneys were failing. The doctor asked for permission to start kidney dialysis. I was frightened, confused and yet hopeful all at the same time. They were offering me hope. I grabbed onto that hope with both hands. Everyone…
2 Years Ago Today
2 years ago today, Steve was spending his 3rd day in the hospital with Covid. It’s weird how what seemed to be a very scary but somewhat inconsequential moment in life, turned into a monumental event in our lives. 2 years ago today, I had NO idea what the future held. We all had Covid…
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