Dating

I have started this blog about a million times but I always end up just leaving it in my drafts.

It’s a little embarrassing and totally depressing but it is my new reality…. ONLINE DATING!

UGH!

I used to think that “kids” had it so easy nowadays. They could just go online, scroll through pics, swipe left or swipe right and find a date. You could literally SEE and find out about a date BEFORE you meet him.

No more blind dates.

How easy is that?

Not easy AT ALL! It is literally impossible, depressing and somewhat degrading.

Here’s how it goes (for those of you who are lucky enough to avoid it):

• You post your profile. (Make sure the pictures are amazing but that they actually give a true image of you. Don’t want to catfish!)
• You answer questions about yourself trying to sound witty, smart, sensitive and not too desperate.
• Once you’ve finally decided your profile kind of represents who you are, it’s time to scroll through pics of men. You can “like” or skip. Everyone’s pictures should tell you a little about who they are. For some reason, the men think they need to post a picture with a fish, a workout pic and if you are lucky, a shirtless pic! Sometimes, they post pics with a group of men so you have NO CLUE which guy you are looking at. That’s fun…let’s play Where’s Waldo!

Then you are kind of “frozen” in online dating hell because in order to actually interact with any of your “likes” you have to subscribe to that dating site.

So then, there is the “which dating site do I invest in” question.. Cause there are about a gazillion… And you really don’t want to waste any of your paycheck on dating websites.

Shouldn’t a friend have a friend they can set you up with? Don’t 50% of marriages end up in divorce? Where are all of the single folks hiding out?

Once you finally resign to the fact that you truly have to put a little money into this “hobby” you pick a site and start to “match” with men.

Here’s where the real fun begins. (Sarcasm inserted)

I am a 53 year old woman. I grew up in the day where men actually asked you on a date, picked you up and they PAID for the meal and maybe even brought you flowers!

I’m not sure about this “Would you like to meet for coffee or a drink?” First of all, I can’t drink coffee after 3pm if I ever want to sleep at night (again 53 year old woman) and if I’m meeting you for a drink, I can’t really drive…. So, I kind of need to EAT to drink… Unfortunately, eating isn’t part of the first date protocol!

Once you get past the initial chatting on the dating website of choice, you might actually exchange phone numbers so you can…

TEXT SOME MORE..

What the heck happened to actually TALKING on the phone?

We have all now learned how to hide behind texting!

I’ve now become the person who is a nervous wreck about talking! At least with texting, I always come up with a witty response and I never have to worry about saying the wrong thing.

You can actually spend an eternity texting and never actually meet a potential match!

I think I may truly have some text boyfriends right now. Not a bad gig… just text every once in awhile. No commitment. Just a little comic relief.

If you do actually make it to the “in person” stage. There are a whole lot of new rules to follow!

I have actually had a few dates but I have been admonished for my innocence.

Coworkers, friends and family warned me that with my belief in the good of mankind, I was going to end up missing or dead in a ditch!

I actually agreed to have a potential date pick me up to go on a date!

I was told that in no uncertain terms, could I accept a ride from a date I met online!

My old fashioned ways are really not in tune with this new world!

I am fairly new to this online dating sport and the longer I am part of it, the more I feel as if it’s not really for me.

I’m thinking I am going to have to believe that my prince charming will somehow magically just come knocking on my door….

Or maybe I need to try some of this manifesting stuff everyone is talking about…

Anybody out there know how to manifest a man?

Who knows, maybe I can manifest the perfect mate?