Pumpkins

I keep walking by the pumpkins in the store and looking the other way. They are a reminder of fall traditions.

Fall is the final season of “firsts” for us. We have now almost made it an entire revolution around the sun without Steve by our sides.

From the time the kids were little, until last October, Steve was in charge of carving a pumpkin with Jared and Shelby. I would purchase and bring home the pumpkin but the 3 of them would sit around the table, carve the pumpkin and roast the seeds. It was a rare occasion that I was not in charge of, or participating in, a family tradition but carving the pumpkin was all Steve.

He would insist that the seeds be soaked in saltwater a very specific amount of time. I have no clue about his timeframe but he would then put them in the oven at 200 and let them roast for a really long time. It would feel like it was taking FOREVER to roast the seeds.

Roasting pumpkin seeds was an exact science for Steve and his pumpkin seeds were never done in Marci Time.

But when they were finally done, we would all happily munch on them. They were always cooked to perfection.

So, now, each time I walk by the pumpkins in the store, I am faced with the dilemma of pumpkin carving and roasting seeds.

The pumpkins are kind of like the elephant in the corner of the room.

Sure, I could take over the task of carving the pumpkin.

I bet the kids could even do it without adult supervision.

But I am slightly intimidated by the idea of carving a pumpkin and roasting the seeds without Steve and I know I wouldn’t have the patience to follow his slow roasting process. Plus, the kids hadn’t mentioned carving a pumpkin.

Until today…

Jared went to Didier’s Farm with a friend.

He brought home a pumpkin.

I wasn’t sure how to respond since I suddenly realized that I might be the only one who has a pumpkin carving phobia.

We now have a pumpkin inside our home and I’m not really sure what to do with it.

It is one of our last “firsts”.

The pumpkin on my counter can be seen as a symbol of what we have lost.

Or it can be seen as a symbol of how strong and resilient we have become.

Whether we carve it or not, we now have a pumpkin.

We will obviously need to create a new tradition.

It seems silly that a pumpkin has been so thought provoking.

But “Firsts” are just never easy.

Yet we always seem to help each other get through the firsts and Jared just helped me get over that initial hump.

He brought home a pumpkin.

I no longer need to look the other way when I pass the pumpkins in the store.

We now need to figure out the best way to create a new tradition.