Today is just SUNDAY

Today is Father’s Day. Many will be having barbecues and brunches and opening presents.

It will look very different for us. It will be a typical Sunday at the Schor House.

I will try to keep us busy with typical errands. Making returns at Target and Nordstrom Rack are on the top of my list.

Jared is lucky. He gets to attend the Cubs’ Game with Mike and hopefully, that will help his keep his mind off of the title of this day.

That’s how I’m trying to look at it. It’s just the name designation for today.

It’s hard to believe that we actually have no fathers in our lives to celebrate. My children don’t have any surviving grandfathers and I lost my own father a week after we lost Steve.

So today is just SUNDAY.

I will be cognizant of the fact that my children are really hurting and I will do my best to keep us busy and distracted.

I received a lot of opinions on how to handle the day.

But when the kids and I sat down and talked about it, we decided that today would just be a Sunday.

We aren’t ready to do all of his favorite things.

They aren’t ready to visit the cemetery.

So today is just SUNDAY.

I will avoid social media and we will spend time together doing mundane things.

I am certain there will be tears involved but I also know that we have made so much progress.

We have our sad days, but we also have happy days.

Laughter is now heard in our home and we have fallen into a routine of some sort.

I realize that I have a lot of work to do as many of the things that were very important to me while Steve was alive have fallen to the wayside.

Cooking family dinners is on the top of my list.

But I also know that I have been more resilient than I had ever expected.

I vividly remember lying in bed while he was in the hospital staring at my dressers and thinking, “He CAN’T die. I won’t know how to manage everything. There is NO way I can do this alone!”

And here I am doing it!

I have had our basement leaks repaired.

Had our electrical box replaced.

Used a snow blower AND a leaf blower.

Hired a contractor to add can lighting to our home.

Taken BOTH children on doctor’s visits and even had Jared at the ER.

I’ve had to check WIDOWED on an application.

Applied for Social Security benefits.

Taught Shelby how to drive.

Bought a used car, license plates, insurance and registration for that car.

Figured out how to get the kids where they needed to be in spite of being the only driver and working full time.

Kept a garden and flowers alive when it actually refuses to rain where we live.

Asked for help when I needed it…

I’ve even gone out socially with friends.

While these may seem like simple tasks to many, they are things that are hard to do when you are used to having a partner by your side to help make decisions and to take on some of the responsibility.

They are things that are hard to do while grieving.

Yesterday, I saw a post of FB celebrating all of the moms who take on the responsibilities of both parents.

So, I guess that is now me…. I am both parents… and I will continue to work hard to make sure our family is okay.

So, once again, today is just SUNDAY because that is what we need it to be.

For all of my friends and family that get to celebrate Father’s Day today, don’t take it for granted. Hug your Father’s tight and give them an extra hug from the Schors.